I love Mean Girls as much as the next under 30 Millenial (ok…maybe more), but after having watched it no less than 100 times since it’s 2004 premiere, I can’t help but notice glaring issues that I once overlooked. Here are the top 5 things about the movie Mean Girls that just don’t make sense (to me).
- White Gold Hoops: Toaster Strudel heir Gretchen Weiners becomes unhinged after Regina tells her “fetch” will “never happen”. After making, a startling in-class speech where she subtly compares Julius Ceasar to Regina, she vents to Cady in the bathroom about the depths of Regina’s mean girl antics. In her soliloquy, Gretchen mentions that two years prior, Regina forbid her from wearing hoop earrings, and consequently, Gretchen regretfully rejects a pair of white-gold hoops gifted to her by her parents. Which begs the question: why didn’t Gretchen just accept the gift and never tell Regina? Gretchen feels loyalty to Regina, but she didn’t have to decline the Hanukkah gift altogether. She could have just hid the earrings if it was that important she remain loyal to Regina’s wishes, and wear them only for family gatherings. How would Regina ever know???
- Grounded: After things start going wrong for Cady (failing math, hiding a sacred tribal vase, etc.), her father sits her down to have a talk at the kitchen table. He tells her she’s grounded but not before he fumbles through the sentence presumably indicating that he doesn’t know what “grounded” is. Yes, Cady was raised in “Africa” since she was a child, but her dad wasn’t! He should know what being “grounded” means. Why does he act like he has no idea of Western concepts? He moved out of the United States as an adult! It simply does not make sense.
- Last Minute Re-Staging: Literally right before The Plastics go onstage for their now iconic dance to Jingle Bell Rock, Regina informs Gretchen that “the tallest go in the middle” and she has to switch with Cady. Rightfully, Gretchen warns Regina that this new blocking will be confusing, but of course, Regina snaps at her. But if “tallest go in the middle” is a hard and fast rule, why didn’t they rehearse it that way? Why is Regina informing everyone of this change when they’re BEHIND THE CURTAIN? How did Regina overlook this very important aspect of the performance throughout the entire rehearsal process? If I was Gretchen, I’d be mad too!
- Boys Will Be Boys: After Regina sets the school on fire (socially) by spilling all the tea and having the receipts to match, Principal Duvall corrals all the girls into the gym for an intervention ,where he then hands it to Ms. Norbury (a mess) to lead. She makes this weird speech where she basically says the girls’ behavior towards eachother is responsible for the boys’ behavior towards them. This isn’t something I’ve overlooked, but I included it here because it still makes me so mad! She can hold these girls accountable for their bullying without reducing boys’ behavior to a product of the girls’ actions, thereby excusing it. Besides, Ms. Norbury was in no position to talk and was actually one of the most annoying characters in the entire movie.
- Private Institution: Aaron Samuels got into Northwestern. He could barely do grade-level math, but he got into Northwestern. No.
Bonus: Cady being from “Africa”. The writers could’ve picked any of the 54 countries in Africa or just made one up, but Africa as a monolith is tired. I doubt Cady would’ve been from “Europe”, but rather Paris, Rome, or Madrid. So why is Cady not from Kenya, Nigeria, or South Africa?